No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
