he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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