I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
