I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
