I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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