is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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