I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
