If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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