it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
