Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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