it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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