I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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