Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
