11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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