We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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