I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
