it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
