Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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