the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
