Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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