I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
do nipples grow back?
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