i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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