I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
