that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
