I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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