I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So many bounce houses so little time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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