I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
