My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
