i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
