Duck Duck Cougar?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
