SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
