Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
