Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
