apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
