so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
