Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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