Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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