I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is Oprah even human
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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