Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you never un-have a 4some
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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