Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
