If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
