so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
