I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
