It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
