I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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