Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
