Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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