i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
