operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
