Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
